Parents - Give her the Choice

"Do you remember Sobha aunty's daughter, she was married at the age of 21 and now she delivered beautiful twins. You are 24. How about getting married ? It's soo late !" Says a mother to her daughter working in an MNC who is about to lead her team to a next higher level and is dreaming to be the CEO of that organisation.

"Done with studies. It's a burden for us to make u study upto BTech. Now no further studies. You'll be married to your maternal uncle who's waiting for you.." Yells a father on his daughter who is in the verge of scoring a good rank in gate examination. She's just 21..

"Our daughter is 25 now, And earning good we should marry her soon to Sharma Ji's son" murmers parents, whose daughter now is setting a platform to start preperation for UPSC..

21 years !! Clocked the age..We individually don't care a damn about it, except if we have any grey hair growing..

But some hyenas, also called Relatives, will be happily waiting, soo eagerly to see us die by 25..Death by Marriage !!

Early 20's..Those are the Damn frustrating years..By that time a mediocre desi girl completes her masters/bachelor degree and will be ready to prove herself to the world career wise in academics..Or will be making time for achieving her dream job which she has been waiting for..

But, Our typical Indian parents, under the useless pressure of those relatives, start poking us to get Married..

Get married..? Seriously ?

It's that the right time to get married..??

As per parents experience and in their version..If you want your child to grow up before you grow old, you must be married by 25 or before..

But it's not a compulsion that u should be definately married before 25. At a certain age we'll know whether we are ready to get married or not. Our consensus will answer our questions all the time and we call it maturity. Just because everyone in the family or among the relatives are married at a particular age doesn't mean that we should force our children to get married in the same age.

Their basic fear will be, how will she get married once she crosses 25 or 30. How can they bring some perfect match at that age ? All this is because still, daughter is seen as a burden by the parents. Hard to accept, but true.

Marriage is something more than a responsibility, a union of two souls. How can we force two people to get married, without asing if they were ready or not, simply because we gave birth to them ?

You can't be happy with someone else until you're completely happy with yourself. No doubt, you can ask for your partner's support when you're upset, But Being married is about joining two lives together, not giving up one. Being peaceful in your own skin means you won't be looking to your partner to fill voids in your life.

Razia Sultan, the first woman to rule delhi. She had three brothers, but her father Iltutmish chose young Razia as his heir to throne. In an era when women were not allowed to voice their opinions, there was a father who gave freedom to his daughter with complete support.

Similar is the story of Rani Lakshmi Bai and Rani Rudrama who were encouraged by their fathers from a young age to ride horses, practice archery, swordsmanship and to speak their mind.

That set me thinking. Even when most of the society was in favour of limiting woman to kitchen and marrying them off at young age, there were such parents who were raising daughters to stand tall among men.

Why find examples from history, present day has many successful woman like Kiran Bedi, Sunita Williams, Late Shri Kalpana Chawla all have been brought up with free mind. These illustrious women are later married, had kids and extended families but that has not bogged them down.

Certainly not the parents who are raising daughters full of confidence and raring to go… The parents just need to stand by their daughters and refuse alliances with any such prospective groom and his family who consider women worth relegating to kitchen only. Who want a daughter-in-law for just looking after the household and forget her ambitions. Who just want to cage the spirit of women.

Marriage has nothing exceptional to offer a woman in the 21st century. Even today, the institution continues to follow age-old patriarchal values that place the financial, physical, emotional and social needs of the husband above the wife’s.

It’s still the woman who changes her name, leaves her home, adapts to a new family, becomes the default in-charge of the housekeeping, social relationship-building, elderly care and childcare, and gives up her job when the babies are born. Indian girls have new aspirations to step out of the home, work and fly, but Indian boys still expect someone to make them tea and ensure that their clothes are laundered.

It is the men and their parents who need to accept that if boys can dream, girls can dream too. If boys can aim high so can the girls. If boys can go out and work so can the girls. That it is the responsibility of both men and women to take responsibility of home – if girls need to compromise so should the boys when need arises.

Let her achieve her goals and fullfill her dreams. Let her do what she's is passionate about. Marriage must not reduce the power of a woman while increasing her Responsibilities. It should ensure the happiness in her because it is true, that a happy woman makes a happy family.